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March 25, 2010

slightly disappointed

Just started reading this book. I am only a few pages in, but every word I read was just so refreshing and real to me.

I have officially declared myself to be in crisis. I don't know the scale of colors--you know, the scale that tells you how serious a crisis is--but I'm pretty sure that I'm an orange.

yep, orange seems to be the perfect color to describe where I am.

I'm ashamed to admit that I once saw a friend reading this book, and I remember thinking "Oh, shoot, he's probably really struggling."

Well, let's just say that struggling isn't the worst thing in the world. In fact, we are encouraged to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. So I'm working it out. Slowly, painfully, and fearfully.

It's not that I don't love God. It's not even a lack of trust--not completely. I'm just at a place where I need somebody to be honest with me about following Jesus. Someone who's willing to be frank with me about prayer. Someone who can discuss some tough issues with me. My new friend Phillip seems to be the perfect person to dialogue with about this. So I embark on yet another journey--or rather, continue on the journey I have been on for quite some time--to figure out this whole Walking with Jesus thing.

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