choices

So we met with some missionaries the other day. They're here in Lincoln on furlough right now, but they are normally living in Peru, working with a Quechua people group.

They were extremely fascinating, generous, kind people who opened up their home to us and shared their ministry and their heart for this forgotten and cast away people group with us.

We're praying right now about what our "next step" in life is. We both know that we want to work in Missions. It's a definite option. The question is, when do we start stepping in that direction? We're not getting any younger (though I still am quite a little baby adult). I'll be graduating soon, we don't have any kids on the horizon (as far as we know) and we feel like this would be a good opportunity to start getting our feet wet in the area of missions.

The living conditions in which this family lives is quite interesting. They live in the city mainly, but ten days at a time they will trek up into the mountains (a 2 hour drive) to where their people group lives. They are still working on learning the language, and are currently building a house up there for their family to live. A one room house. No plumbing. A little stove. And an outhouse. Yes, that's right. An outhouse.

None of this phases me at first glance, but I do have to admit that on further glance, living with a little wood burning stove to cook on and an outhouse for potty time would be quite an...adventure.

The real question though is not whether that would be difficult, but rather how will I feel about live looking back on what we did with it 5o years from now? Because as hard as cooking with a wood stove might be, I can't imagine the heart break of looking back on a life wasted. I can't bear the thought of it.

It's so hard to live like a real Christian. So often I feel like I am just living through the monotony and routine of life, thinking about God occasionally, but not really making an impact on people's lives, not really building the kingdom. I'm tired of living this way, and I don't know how to get out of this routine. I know that becoming a missionary is a hard step to take, but it's where my heart has been since I was seven years old, and I just can't bear the thought of not at least pursuing what it would look like for us to move in that direction.

That's all. My heart is full, and at the same time not sure what to do with all of these possibilities. I guess we'll just continue to wait.